


A Brief Lesson in Humanity

by ceryss



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 11:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6904096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceryss/pseuds/ceryss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fed up with Vision's utter lack of social skills, Tony Stark dumps the android on Wanda Maximoff's doorstep with the simple instruction: "Teach him." </p><p>One-shot!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Brief Lesson in Humanity

A series of sharp knocks on her door, and Wanda opened it to find Tony Stark himself, with the Vision in tow.

“Mr. Stark,” she greeted coolly. Her eyes flashed to the Vision momentarily. Still as crimson and other-worldly as she remembered, hovering a few inches off the ground. She still was not sure what to make of the synthetic man, besides the fact that he saved her life a few weeks ago. 

“I’m sure I’ve asked you to call me Tony,” he quipped, leaning on an arm braced against her doorframe. “Listen Wanda, I have a bit of a proposition for you as it happens.” 

Wanda raised a brow in response. Anything Stark wanted from her could only mean trouble. 

“As I’m sure you’ve noticed, my android son has a lot of weird and generally awkward habits, and recently expressed to me that he finds humanity utterly baffling.” Stark jabbed a finger back towards Vision, who did not appear offended in the slightest by his words. “And seeing as he saved your life back in Ultron Apocalypse, you owe him a favor.” 

“An ‘apocalypse’ that you caused, by the way,” she reminded, unkindly.

“Well… bygones are bygones, right? Anyway, here’s your new student.” He patted Vision on the back and smiled at her charmingly.

Wanda was lost. “I don’t understand what you’re implying, Mr. Stark.”

 _“Tony,”_ he stressed, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Social norms, pop culture references, and for god’s sake a complete lack of a sense of _humor!_ I can’t deal with all of his questions anymore. Just… he’s your first assignment, okay? Just teach him everything everyone else already knows.”

Understanding of what he wanted finally clicked in her head and her mouth dropped open. 

“Everything everyone else already knows?” Wanda asked incredulously. “You can’t assign me something like this, I have no idea how teach someone… humanity!” 

“Well neither do I!” He said, exasperated. “And I’ve already done what I can, so now it’s your turn. Passing the torch or something like that.” Stark began backtracking, briskly walking away from her, hands raised as if to protect himself from her ire.

“You can’t just… Stark!” Wanda called after him, leaning around Vision. “What the hell am I supposed to do?!”

From around the corner she heard, “Your best!” Wanda groaned loudly before turning back to the person... thing… man that was now her charge.

With a resigned sigh, she said, “Hello Vision.”

Vision smiled as if he was completely unbothered of the previous argument. “Hello Miss Maximoff.”

   

* * *

 

“How bout we start with the basics?”

Wanda had spent the past day observing Vision and thinking about everything uncomfortable about his behavior. She had never really noticed before, but now that Stark had mentioned it, he did do a lot of weird things.

He never blinked. Or seemed to breathe. Instead of walking somewhere, he would float over like a bizarre, caped ghost. He would stare at anyone he was speaking with for far too long. He wore the same outfit everyday. She realized that their teammates would poke fun at him pretty often, and he almost never understood the joke. All in all, she was up against a lot of work.

“What are the basics, Miss Maximoff?” Vision was seated in her desk chair, only after she pointed out that it was weird to stand all the time.

Wanda held up a finger. “Number one, stop referring to everyone so formally. I’m Wanda, not Miss Maximoff. Or Steve, not Captain Rogers. Or Tony, not Mr. Stark. Get it?”

“You call him Mr. Stark,” Vision pointed out.

“That’s because I want to annoy him.”

“Why would that annoy Mr. Stark?”

“Because he likes to be called Tony.”

“But why would—“

“Vision! Please,” Wanda sighed, flopping back onto her bed. She understood why Stark wanted to offload him onto her. After only a day she felt as though she had answered a hundred inane questions. Yet despite her occasional harsh tone, Vision never appeared put off or discouraged.

She took a deep breath. “Okay. Number two, you need to start walking. And using doors. Floating everywhere is perceived as odd, and it’s especially odd and honestly frightening when you just phase through a wall with no warning.”

“When I came to meet you in this room, I phased through the walls between our quarters. Was that incorrect?”

“Yeah, that scared the shit out of me. Seriously, just try knocking, okay?”

Vision considered this for a moment. “I believe you are speaking in an idiom, but I do not understand how defecating yourself would be a response to fear.”

Wanda threw an arm over her face in exasperation and groaned. “Oh my God.”

 

* * *

  

Two weeks in to their unusual teacher-student relationship, Wanda had Vision walking, blinking occasionally, and even wearing normal clothes. She had to admit, the android could certainly pull off a nice cashmere sweater. He even stopped phasing through walls (for the most part), which had the Scarlet Witch feeling rather proud of herself.

Though unconfirmed, as Vision and her had promised to stay out of each other’s minds, she believed he was happier with the way their teammates had been treating him. There was certainly less uncomfortable shuffling and avoidance, which Wanda considered a victory.

Stark had even flashed her a thumbs up the first time he saw Vision dressed without his shimmery gold cape. The android had walked into the common room dressed in slacks and a button-up, and even sat down instead of hovering behind someone! She rolled her eyes at Stark, but had to admit that deep down she felt pleased. Being this occupied with Vision was a good distraction to missing her brother.

Now that they were passed general behavioral norms, Wanda was trying to work through explaining various emotions to Vision. He told her he was having a very hard time grasping why people acted the way they did.

It seemed like he had asked her a million questions already. _Why do humans cry when they’re sad and when they’re happy? Why do humans isolate themselves when they, in fact, are in need of support? Why are some insults meant to be funny and some meant to be cruel? How do you know the difference? Why do humans say certain things when they mean the opposite?_

Some of the questions actually took quite a bit of thought for her to think of a response. Humanity was turning out to be quite complex; thank the heavens she was born into it.

Today they were speaking over a game of chess. She found that Vision actually very much enjoyed chess, and also was extremely good at it. Though she was naturally competitive, she somehow didn’t mind getting slaughtered over and over again. It was fun to see some actual happy emotion on Vision’s face when he tactically won. 

Vision moved his bishop and claimed her knight. “You’re not very good at chess, Miss– Wanda. Perhaps in this, I could be the teacher and you the student.”

Her eyes flashed to his in amusement. “Were you being humorous, Viz?”

He was pleased with himself. “Yes, I was.”

She laughed lightly. “Good job.” She moved a pawn, not too concerned with where it landed. She was more interested in watching Vision’s intense concentration of the game. It was almost endearing.

“Speaking of you teaching me,” Wanda began. “I was wondering if you could answer a question for me.”

Bright, open eyes met hers. “I would be _delighted_ to.” A pause. “Did I use ‘delight’ correctly? I am attempting to apply what you taught me yesterday.”

Smiling again, Wanda replied, “Yes, that’s perfect usage. My question was… well, why do you bother? I know Stark told you to try to act more human, but it seems like you genuinely enjoy learning these silly things I teach you. It takes extra effort on your part to adopt all of these human characteristics when you function perfectly without them so… why?”

Vision considered this for a moment. Finally, he asked, “May I connect our minds? I am finding it difficult to find the correct words.”

Surprised, and suddenly nervous, Wanda nodded her head. She hadn’t truly felt his mind since the day he was created, and she recalled how vast and utterly foreign it had been. For some reason she also felt self conscious of what he would find inside her own head. How could simple human thoughts compare to the whole universe?

Regardless of her misgivings, she opened her mind and closed her eyes, almost immediately feeling his presence there. It was… calming. Organized.

Then, a voice in her head: _This is the answer to your question._

He was showing her images, and she realized they were interlaced with emotions. It was flashes of different scenes of interactions he had witnessed, which to her seemed mundane, but in his mind they were coated with a sense of awe and almost… _adoration_ so strong that she couldn’t help but feel it too.

There was Steve, helping Sam Wilson tend to a training injury that he could have handled himself. _Comradery._ There was Clint video-chatting with his wife and children late into the night, even though there was a very early mission the next day. _Sacrifice._ There was Tony Stark, shockingly devoid of his usual arrogance as he spun Pepper around in a dance with quiet music. _Happiness._

Then, she watched the image that had haunted her for months on end: her brother, her Pietro, leaping to shield Clint and giving his life for him in turn. Only in Vision’s memory it wasn’t coated with agony and grief, but with amazement, with respect, with reverence. _Selflessness._

Opening her eyes as she felt his mind slip away from hers, Wanda realized she was crying.

Vision looked at her as she wiped away her tears. “Humanity is beautiful. I would be lucky if I could achieve even some small portion of it. That is why I enjoy your teaching.”

Then, unexpected once more, Vision picked up her hand and held it between his own. His skin was cool to the touch, but still soft like her own. “Physical contact can be helpful in times of distress,” he explained.

Wanda snorted at this, realizing he was reciting something she had told him only a few days ago. She wiped her cheeks again with the sleeve of her sweater. “Humanity is lucky to have you, Viz.” She told him.

  

* * *

 

Moving on to pop culture references was a lot easier. Less existential questions regarding the human race and more movie binging and book reading. 

In between training sessions, small missions, and forced team bonding parties, the pair always found time to settle into the couch with a few DVD’s and a lot of popcorn. This ‘learning’ was actually just as useful for Wanda who realized that she had seen little to none of the movies that Sam recommended. There wasn’t exactly much time for movie watching in an experimental superhuman prison.

They watched Rocky (Wanda teared up), Lord of the Rings (Wanda cried), and Les Misérables (Wanda sobbed). Vision was getting very good at handing her tissues.

Though she wasn’t sure when exactly, but somewhere along the way Wanda had stopped thinking of spending time with Vision as teaching and more of just hanging out with her friend. Her best friend, she supposed.

Vision too, seemed to regard her less as a teacher and more as a friend. He would come to her sometimes with no questions at all, simply seeking out her company for mere companionship. He always sat next to her in meetings and at meals. At mandatory parties they tended to stick together, she helped him navigate conversations and he made sure she didn’t slip away when no one was looking.

Wanda even noticed that during training drills he tended to come to her aid first, even if she wasn’t in the direst position. She wasn’t sure what to make of all this, but she would be lying to herself if she said it didn’t leave a warm feeling behind.

 

* * *

 

 “So… you’ve noticed this right?” Natasha murmured to Stark one morning as they were waiting for the coffee pot to beep. The assassin gestured toward the pair curled up on the common room couch watching Star Wars.

Tony looked up. “Scarlet and my beloved son? I told her she was in charge of him.” He shrugged. “Honestly kind of miss his company, as socially painful as it could be sometimes.”

“They’ve been joined at the hip for weeks now.”

“Well, that is what being in charge of him _entails,_ you know he’s actually a handful. Wanda’s been a good babysitter, I should see about getting her a raise.”

Nat elbowed him in the ribs, to which Stark gave a sharp gasp. “Damn, what was that for?”

The Black Widow gave him a very pointed look before pointing to the pair again. Wanda had leaned her head against Vision’s shoulder and laughed at something he said, too low for them to hear.

“Does that look like babysitting to you? Well, I’m sure there are actually a lot of babysitter fantasies out there, so maybe—“

Tony Stark was appalled. “I…” he sputtered. “I never saw this. I am completely unaware of this.” With that, he all but fled the room, leaving Natasha smiling over her coffee.

  

* * *

   

Vision was an adept student, and Wanda liked to think she was an effective teacher, so they moved along at a quick pace. Vision seemed to have minimal trouble grasping concepts and rules until they reached a day somewhere in the second month of their friendship in which Vision was utterly perplexed.

They were watching Pride & Prejudice and had just gotten to the scene where Mr. Darcy proposes to Elizabeth Bennet for the first time.

“Why is Mr. Darcy so interested in Miss Bennet, when she clearly does not meet any of his societal expectations?” Vision asked.

Wanda sat up from leaning against him and grabbed another mouthful of popcorn. “Well that’s the whole point,” she said in between bites. “He loves her even though it would be easier to be with someone in his same class.”

Vision looked confused. “But how could he fall in love with a person so incorrect for him?”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Viz, you can’t _choose_ who you fall in love with. It just happens. You just feel it.”

This answer was obviously not in depth enough for the android. “Isn’t love based on a realization that one person is suited for another? Yet Miss. Bennet is not suited at all for Mr. Darcy, so how could he love her?”

“You’ve got it all wrong!” Wanda explained, slightly irritated. “Being suited for one another isn’t based on money or background or material things. It’s based on your personalities. Mr. Darcy likes Elizabeth because she challenges him and is strong willed, and funny, and interesting! So it doesn’t matter that she’s all wrong for him society-wise, because their hearts are suited for one another.”

Vision didn’t seem to be comprehending what she was saying so she tried again. “He… _desires_ her, you get it? Not for any practical reasoning, but just because she, herself, is desirable to him.”

From all the practice she had in reading his face, she could tell immediately that he did not get it. Luckily, she was determined.

She held out a hand and pulled him off the couch. “Come on, Viz. There hasn’t been a thing I couldn’t teach you yet, and I can’t have my reputation tarnished. I’m gonna teach you about human desire if it kills me.”

“I don’t want you to die, Wanda,” he replied, eyebrows raised.

“Just an expression. Come on.”

  

  

After more recommendations from Sam, who was proving to be quite the movie buff, Wanda made her student watch Gone with the Wind, Dirty Dancing, and The Notebook. She made him listen to Marvin Gaye, and read Wuthering Heights and The Great Gatsby. Afterward she would review with him, pointing out the reckless love and desire that brought the protagonists together as best she could.

He still asked a hundred questions that proved he wasn’t getting it in the slightest. It only made her more eager to succeed.

She was about to pull out the big guns and put in Titanic when she felt Vision’s hand on her own, stopping her from popping in the DVD. He sat down next to her in front of the TV, in a casual way he wouldn’t have done a few weeks ago.

“I appreciate your continuous efforts to teach me about this emotion. But perhaps it is a distinctly human feeling, one that I could never achieve,” he said softly, a bit sadly.

“Don’t tell me you’re giving up already?” She teased.

Yet he did seem truly melancholy. “Some things are just not in my design.”

Wanda wasn’t in the business of throwing in the towel, however. Seeing her companion down made her feel sadness of her own. And his hand on her own gave her an idea. A really terrible, certain to cause a lot of awkwardness, but possibly a breakthrough idea. It made her cheeks flame, but once it was in her head she couldn’t get rid of it. 

What if the reason he couldn’t understand desire was because he never experienced it? And maybe if he did experience it…

She was sure her face was bright red, not only from the heat in her cheeks, but also from the curious way Vision was looking at her. But she realized that she _wanted_ to show him. 

So slowly, but not fearfully, she reached for Vision’s hand with her other one. Turning his palm upwards, she lightly traced along the lines she found there, moving to rub circles along his wrist. Using both hands, she continued her exploration up his arm.

“What are you doing?” He questioned.

She felt too shy to meet his eyes, so she remained focused on his arm. A rather muscular arm, as she was noticing. She released him slowly. “Turn around,” she instructed.

He seemed confused, but complied. Still seated, he moved so he was facing away from her. Feeling braver now that he wasn’t watching, Wanda returned her hands to his body, landing on his shoulders. She massaged lightly, occasionally letting her hands wander back down along his arms before running back up and pressing softly into the back of his neck.

Wanda was certainly unpracticed in the art of seduction and felt more and more embarrassed and she continued her ministrations. What if Vision felt nothing? What if he was right, and he really just could never feel any form of romantic desire?

Seeking to assuage her doubts, with ultimate caution she reached her mind towards his, hoping for a brief insight into his thoughts. Though connected only for a few moments, she found exactly what she was hoping for, causing her to break out into a toothy grin behind him. _Interest, curiosity, enjoyment, contentment, fondness;_ they were all there.

What gave her the grin though was the distinct sense of _longing_ that she found in his mind as well. It gave her the courage to continue.

Hesitantly, she pressed her lips against his throat, and smiled when she felt him shudder. She continued, trailing her lips against his neck as her fingers did to his palm earlier. “I’m not right for you,” she whispered in between kisses. “I will grow older and you will not.” A kiss, a slide of her arms around his front, holding him closer.

“The world won’t approve, not to mention our teammates.” Heart racing, Wanda moved around so she was in front of him, to face him, taking in his almost awe-struck expression with pleasure. Gently, she pushed on his chest so that he was flat on his back on the floor.

With growing confidence, realizing she wanted this as much he (hopefully) did, Wanda moved to hover over him. Staring into bright eyes, with her hair curtaining them in from the world, she murmured, “It would be a distraction from our work.” 

She lowered her head until there was only a few inches between their lips. “Knowing all this… Do you want me to stop?” 

Vision blinked underneath her, sudden understanding flooding his face, causing Wanda to revel in her victory.

He shook his head slightly. “No, I don’t.” He was all earnestness and kindness, his hands coming up to cautiously to touch her arms and her waist.

Wanda smiled and whispered, “ _Desire,_ ” before touching her lips to his. 

She was a damn good teacher, if she did say so herself.

 

 


End file.
